Hardly cataclysmic, and anyone who knows me won't be all that surprised, those that only know me vaguely shouldn't be too shocked.
I've been into this for ages... Since I was in my mid-late teens. Hidden, not discussed or admitted, surreptitiously explored, longed for, confused, despised... but constant and wanton, needed...
I'll not delve into the psychology and all of that krap... All I know is: I like it. I want it. I miss it when I don't have it. I desire and demand my 'fetish'... I've had girlfriend/partners... I made no great secret of what I 'was into' except maybe the depth and degree...
The extent, mood, and necessary "atmosphere" and willingness is the inherent bitch-point... It's very hard to portray, to someone so close/too close.
I fucked-up, often at this issue.
Part of me says "Not hard enough!" the other says "Too tough!"... I'm single, again, alas...
Still trying... still working on it! Still spending money I can barely afford... on that 'Ideal' of the perfect situation, specific scenario, ultimate vision... of fetish, of Domination, submission, the whole caboodle....
More later....
