When I work... 3-5 days a week... it's a 0500 start! That means bed at 8PM if I want 8Hrs... 
But yesterday, I didn't werk, and slept in 'til 0600! So I'm not tired... at 2000hrs ... and have to say "You'll be fucked tomorrow!" ...
But I'm not tired!!! 
Oh FFS! 
 

 

Monday 15Jan24... I did mention that I'm not a good Diarist, just a bloke that writes occasionally …

So the past month or so was shit and good.

Shit health-wise, feeling pox, gastroscopies, colonoscopies, test, checks.. and feeling generally krap, but trying to “keep on keeping on!” ...as one does.

Good that I'm trying to learn a new attitude... to my attitude.. and 'not really giving a fuck!' seems to help... !!

Poor XXXX... they've hired a broken, tired, broke old dude that's making a serious effort to not care! Ha!

I still do the job, well and as best I can without having a Cardiac Event!
I don't talk to many folk at work, I don't get the chance... One or three people are nice and I chat... But most are just faces and “Hi, thanks.” etc...

Sometimes I feel so removed from what is “expected” social activity and interaction... that I dry-retch when I need to go outside.

So, when I walk out the door, I'm nervous sweat, clearing my nose of spew, wiping my eyes and tears, heavy breathing, and trying to remain calm and in control! ...Good luck with that!

And... then there's eating! ...I'm not hungry, usually. I can go a few days without “I need to eat!” ...but, that's an issue in that “if you don't eat, Pete!... you'll get sick! Malnutrition is an issue!”

So I force myself to consume... which is shit! Ever tried to over-eat?

Light foods... Noodles, Dim Sum... etc. Cuppa Soup is good. It's some form of sustenance in my guts. ...Just writing this, makes me feel like an invalid!