Large in the easy-to-read Verdana... Thank me later. 

My next rant... [Oh goodness, here it comes...] Is about fucking FaceBook! 
I use Facebook fairly often... My Nieces and Nephews tell me "Catch up! ...it's all about Insta or Snap or ..." some other shit. 

All/Most of my old Friends are on FB... (Young'ns tell me Only Old People use facebook!)
However, FB are being a pack of cunt... lately! 

My last six posts have been replied with "Your posts are under consideration. ...We'll let you know about the progress..." WTF?!
What did I say? 

One post... 'under consideration' was about looking forward to having a bath in my new house! 
I ask why is that 'under consideration'?? 

I'll admit that I can be a bit acerbic or cynical or bitter in my posts; but I try to be humorous and/or laconic... and of all the posts and Memes and comments on FB... Why am I being dealt the pineapple?

...I still can't post, still wondering why not?
Pete, out. 

 

Good news... For all the folk that do or don't follow me! ...I have somewhere to move to!! Yip Yah in the Biggest Order of Magnitude! 

My last plan was either a car and a tent or finding somewhere to place a mate's caravan! 

Thanks to an observant Cousin... a couple of phone calls, a chat, a visit and a long wait...! [Honestly, less than a week but it seemed endless.] ...I was told I could have a 12-month lease!! Woo fucking HOO! 

A huge weight of my mind and I like to THANK ____ ______ and _____ ______ SO much!! 

Now to the endless and shitful effort of sorting, chucking and shifting all the krap I've accumulated over the eons... And hitting up mates and rellies for utes and trailers!! Ugh! Huge eye-roll!

BUT...!!! Not homeless! Thank fuck! 

Pete Out!

  Sometimes... one watches a vid. On YouTube, generally, in my case... And bells start ringing, on several levels... 

The tough Aussie, son of ANZAC says... It'll be right! I'm fine! 
But then the tears start flowing at odd moments, funny, sad or no particular cause... just a memory, a sad song that isn't necessarily sad... and I ask WHY!? Why the fuck?! 

And one asks what the fuck is going on? I've never been shot at, with intent... No-one has ever really tried to kill me... But I've been VERY scared, lot's of times. Been beside a slab of explosive going FUCKING BOOM!! Had Howitzers and Tank Guns firing near me to rattle my skull... Been in domestic situations that were supressed and sublimated for many years... Been sexually abused by a "Family Friend" ...etc. 

But I still feel that "You've no excuse..." to call PTSD or Anxiety or OCD, or start crying or want to hide away in my cave... avoid people or want to vomit when I need to go out. 

Phew! Fucking hell... Basic training alone was a bit more than an eye-opener. Kapooka is PTSD in itself! 

So, I smile and laugh... and get along and continue! 
I'm alive because I made a Promise to not kill myself! 
My brother Bob drove down a country road and set a .410 shotgun to his head... and stopped his frustrated confused pain... That hurt my family SO much I promised Myself I wouldn't do it to anyone else... 

I don't know, nor will ever, know what Bob was thinking... That's an "only one man will know, and he's dead!" situation... He was a Victorian Copper... Probably, by the job, PTSD as fuck!! There's a reason... 
What hurts... and I vaguely try to change... is that he didn't talk/chat/communicate to anyone that I know of... Apparently, he wrote letters, but I've not seen them... 

I was a pall-bearer at his funeral... alongside five big burly Coppers he knew and had spoken about! ...the coffin was many inches above my short-arse shoulder... There's photos, actual light-onto-film photos of the event... Me in Service Dress, the Burly Coppers in their Best... all sombre and steady, brave for a fallen Comrade. 

The photo of choice though, is of me hugging... Him consoling, a Good Old Family Friend, The Reverend Ronald "Moffat" White... A lovely bloke! I wish that I'd kept in touch... 

...and Mum and Dad were married in the same St Pauls in Myers St. Bendigo... I don't tear-up when I see it! ...more than weekly ...sad outweighs proud! 
Without the religious bit, I essentially became of that spot! ...as an atheist, that's a bit odd, really. 

Life is generally... OK/Meh! It continues, I deal with it... 
Pete, over... 

Everyday normal bloke about to face homelessness... FFS!

 I am... as chuffed as a happy person that is really pleased with themself!!

I got my license back today!! Woohoo! 

I posted on FB: "So! ...license (receipt) in hand, I drive for about 3hrs! Traffic? Bring it on!

Over Big Hill, through Lockwood, out to Longlea, nearly Epsom... visited Nick, dropped in to see my boss, went to my old job to say hi... filled the car with 98 octane, bought oil and some bug removing windscreen cleaner... nearly bought some bullet-hole stickers... and then volunteered at the Red Cross OpShop. WOOHOO! 

As chuffed as a really happy person that is quite pleased!😎" 

Situation... for new or occasional viewers... 
I lost my license for Drink Drinking! Yeah, I know! Bad lad! 
I did it. I got caught at 0.1! Mid-range dickhead... I also lost my job, ended up on the dole and ...found cardiology issues, emphysema, gut issues at both ends... a bit of a mental-crisis and broke as fuck! 
Shit, eh?

Then found my flat/unit/home had been sold out from under me... Available housing is scarce, affordable housing is as rare as rocking horse shit! 
Next month, I could be homeless! On the upside, I have a car, a job, a LICENSE [woohoo!] and a tent! ...

I bought a Bush Jacket today... Winter is coming! 
The more I look at rentals, the more I look at camping kit and survival gear next. This winter may be a cold and blustery existence...

As a Soldier, I say "OK... It'll be fine. Phew, but I'll manage!"
As a 57 year old dude that was a soldier... I'm more than a bit concerned. 
Fuck!  ...but try not to show it!

I've always paid or re-paid my way... I've always tried to 'do my best, do my duty' ...even on the dole I donate to charity. Cubs taught me to do a daily good deed. As an adult, that's letting someone into traffic, helping someone who trips, picking up a dropped can at the supermarket, simple stuff like saying "After you...".
A few coins to a busker. Giving a smoke to someone who asks... I know what it's like to need a ciggie. 

That "kharma" gig feels like a bit of krap, sometimes... 

But... I have my license back! Yip Yah! The Inter-lock Device will re-teach me not to Drink and Drive even though loss of license and ...so far nearly $2000 to get my license should've. 
Now, I have to 'lease' the device by the month, have it 'serviced' [read Upload the Content], do a Course to have it removed, then pay to have it removed... another $1000 or so... 
...it's a good thing that the Magistrate didn't Fine me! ...only a 12month Good Behaviour Bond. As if...? 

But! On the upside... I can get to work tomorrow morning without a $40 taxi fare. 
Think about that!... If you had to pay $40 to go to a part-time job, would you? 3-4 times a week? 

Happy as, that I've a license back, a registered car, a tent and the knowledge to live in the bush... if I have to... 

Friends and Family have offered all sorts of accommodation and help and support... but who wants to have the spare room?! 
It's appreciated, but I'd rather a place of my own... which, from several searches... Is either wishful thinking or out-of-my-price...  
Dread thought... living in a room with a few Uni-Students to share the kitchen and bog?! Not happening, even if I was accepted. 
Rentals are Bendigo is scarse...! In Bendigo... It's all "Fully furnished" and massively expensive, or a room, or costly because it's a "short walk to the CBD!" 

Real Estate people think that everyone works in a nice office in "the CBD" ...just a short walk! Then they portray the 'catchment areas' ...something about schools!
Schools? I want a 1 bdrm flat, empty, and affordable... ! FFS!

I'm NOT a Yuppy, not 'Professional', don't need 'close to the CBD', I'm not concerned about the "Age Demographics" of my area nor the re-sale value, nor the Sale History much... 
I reckon "Selling" is out-reaching renting... to the betterment of the former and the demise of the latter. ...Bugger! ...Fuck, eh?! 

I just want an affordable place to go home to. Next step? Apply, apply apply! ...even for places I don't want or can barely afford... Because, if not?! 
It's a caravan from a Mate (Try and find a caravan park, lately!!) ...or "I have my car, and a tent!" 

It's Life Jim, but not as we know it!  

This is not how I thought the 21st Century would be!