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....even Pessimists have to admit that sometimes, occasionally, things go OK! 

I went to visit Family, this week. Scary! .... Not really, I'm just a scaredy-kat!

 A  small procedure, nothing special.... But I can/do realise the issues of going into Hospital ... Lately, a few days of "stay at home" but more recently a full week; the logistics is more complicated than mere 'stay at home' ...

It takes a week of "Do I have enough food?" ...Can I plan other Medical Appointments around this? ...I won't be able to drive for two weeks... That stretches things to almost a month.... 
Best I plan a bus-trip to the shops... (I haven't caught a bus for years! ...Look up bus-trips Bendigo! MyKey?? WTF?? ...Oh MyKi.... Get the App...)

I had to call on a good friend to change her shifts, to take me to the hospital...Bless her, I have few friends... no others within range. None that I would call on... She'll kindly wait as I have a minor slit to my Carpal Tunnel, then take me home and watch over me... to make sure I don't die... Caring and thoughtful as ever. 
Kind mercies... One can only wish to return, in deed more than thought. 

The next morning... I'll do this bus-ticket MyKi business to alleviate my Friend from driving me home... 

I'm glad I'm not fucking old and un-savvy!!! Good help the Elderly... 

...ultimately, I'll be picked-up, transported and operated upon, driven home and looked after! 

Thank Goodness for Friends!

 Isolation again... Pre-procedure, again, not because I'm Covid-ed.... 
I'm going in for... "Under the knife!"... to fix a Carpal Tunnel Syndrome issue... Only one hand so I'll be back for more... Again, if you like. 

Isolation doesn't worry me. A slight twinge at not being allowed out, but I consider and bow-to the greater Good. 
I generally don't go out that much... And I suspect most of those who protest their "freedom" probably don't either. ...but getting out to protest is a good excuse!

I knew I was going into isolation... Therefor, I ensured I had adequate provisions.
That's not hard to contemplate, really! 

I believe most of the "protestors" are just angry, want to protest about the 'freedoms' they don't actually use... or just watch yanks being idiots and want to follow. 

Harder... will be not using my right hand. ...for a while! I can live with that.

 [Verdana Large, for ease of reading...] ...thank me later.

As a blogger, I know I'm a bit shit... really! Piss and moan and not much to say, without any entertaining tales or quirky comments...

I also fail in regularity and consistency.
Lately, I'm failing on my "E" key, which neds a more definite touch than othrs... (sic) ... But, I'm trying something new!

Labels and location.... Some may say "Duh" but when I've written (Blobbed) in the past, I've not noticed these options.... 

Currently, and for the first time... I'm NOT ALLOWED OUT of my home/unit/cave. I've just been screened for CoVid prior to a surgical examination. Bendigo Health say, and rightly so, that I must 'self-isolate' until the procedure... OK!

I'm usually Werk-Home-Sleep-Werk, with shopping [getting supplies!] done on the way home from werk. 
I'm a stop-in; I don't go out visiting much, socialising is a bit scary... I am comfortable with my solitary existence. 

I was recently made redundant, at werk, and decided to use my pent-up holidays by staying at home. 
...then Covid occurred and I couldn't go many places, I was paid extra to stay at home [BONUS!] ...so, I caught up on some avoided medical appointments.

Now, with reduced restrictions, I figured it was time to go-bush and start visiting some of my family.... 

Then the Appointment appeared. "Pete, we need to stick a camera down your gullet and have a look!" ...CoVid Screening, compulsory 1 week prior.

I had that... which was painless and very well handled, but now I have no (legal) option but to stay at home. 
I was prepared, stocked with food and booze and tobacco... but 'no more trips to buy ...anything!' 

...I used to go for a swooper-markt trip and take the-long-way-home, to stay out, to breath other air, to explore a little... Taking random turns to see where this road leads... 

I'm happy enough... but laugh at myself when I think "I'd love a packet of chips!" 

Too late!!

I'll use the time to prepare for a few days away after I've had the exam..... Definitely NOT in my cave!

Food for one.... sucks a bit.

Cooking for yourself... No-one else to please, nothing to impress... 
My diet is watching cooking-shows on UTube... then not doing it.
I've barely eaten in the last few days.
I have a corned-silverside spiced appropriately, slow-cooking... spuds and cabbage and peas and beans at the ready.... I'm not really feeling hungry. ...a slow-cooker means I have hours to consider.

Now I have half a Kilo of meat... nice, tasty flavoursome meat... some mashed spud, peas and beans... onion from the cooking... 
Full now! Yumm.... Corned beef for the next few days... In sandwiches, by chunks, more veg... Yawn.

 

'Murica aka The "United" States of 'America'

 The internet is, by weight of numbers, is filled with "America" (There is Nth and Sth America, from the North Pole to the South Pole, but by force of economics and propaganda and 'Power of the Will'... Let's read USA ...'Murica, as it's lately known) ...

The supposed 'Home of the brave, Land of the free'... House of "I know my Rights!" Bedroom of "I didn't do any wrong!"

The US Constitution... and it's 27 Amendments... seem paramount. To the point that yankee citizens seem to becry Amendments beyond Laws. 
(As Jim Jeffries said "Every country has a constitution... We have one in Australia... No-one knows what it says, but when something goes wrong we have a look!)

From the internet... no others seem to proclaim this "Sovereign Citizen" status... Known only to 'Murica, where they can use "Freedom" as a defence to their misdirections, while quoting Amendments to a Constitution they disagree with.... How's that working for you?

Yanks think that the UK and the Commonwealth are odd, the Frogs are strange, the Krauts are weird...?! 

The rest of the planet consider " 'Murica " to be a failed experiment.
All empires die.... From before the Romans to the Brits... 
Thanks for the Hamburgers, cheers for Rock n Roll, muscle cars... the time-out fantasy-image of Movies, but Hollywood was a farcical snake eating its own arse. 

Guns were kool, until it became self-imploding with your seemingly self-destructive bent on killing every cunt that disagreed or posed a threat!

It's not your fault... But!
You can look and think more widely! 

The Cosmos does NOT rotate about the USofA.

Life... overrated, but the only choice I have.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6CY-bRO0Yk

Husker Du -Never talking to you again

I post this... as it's been going through my head again and again and again.... 

With no immediate target, just talking to people... Some people I miss, others I don't. 

But, as with most songs, it's not quite right/correct.

I find myself having imaginary conversations. Not quite schizophrenic, rather chats I'd have, if I could. I try sometimes, but I seem to call at an inconvenient/the wrong time. Then it ends, awkwardly ..."Well... I let you go [back to whatever you were doing or is more important, or less irritating]...."
I don't mean to bother anyone, but I'm fucking lonely... Not to sure about interacting with others, scared of being seen as a dickhead, weird, needy, odd... Although I know I am. 

I'm not suicidal, but often think about dying if I could get away with it without causing pain to those I care about... There's a dichotomy!

Morale is low, discipline... less! 

I feel nauseous at the need to go out, vomit at the necessity. It takes me hours to raise the courage to dress and leave home. Any excuse will do to delay. 

I cry ...a lot. Anything emotional, really... Movies, stories, videos, recollections... 
Always briefly, quietly, privately... I wouldn't want to betray myself in public.
I cry, tear-up, eyes overflowing... at anything I watch that has emotional content. I cry at rescue dogs and lost kittens, saved bats. I watch them a lot, although I don't like kats and I'm allergic to the furry cute arrogant beautiful bastards. Odd, I know. 

I miss having a dog... In a one bedroom unit, I cannot have one, sadly. Dogs are forgiving and loving, people... not so much. 

People scare me... in that I fear what they think of me. That others won't see the inherent good in me, merely the sad and krappy bits. I may not be as smart and witty as I believe, in my head. In my head, it's all in my head... 
To be honest, I've never fit in. I've never felt that I fit in. There's my curse... Even in my prime, young fit, well trained, cruising the inner-circle, getting some of the better jobs... I felt removed and at a distance. 

Whenever I want to open-up and express, seems to be the wrong time; or I can't collect my disparate desperate thoughts to portray a cohesive presentation of Me and Myself. 

I look at the cobwebs on the ceiling [a Goth in me like cobwebs] as I wipe a tear and take a deep breath... SNIFF! Blink ..sigh! Chuckle nonchalantly, laconically... 

The rain didn't last long... The warned thunder-storm would've been good! 

I can tap and rattle fingernails, I'm over chewing them to bleeding... Tap tap rattle click... Twitchy as fuck. I keep going until I'm falling asleep.... Watch a movie, see a doco... Concentration span, lately? Fuck all! 
I have to force myself to stay in bed. Do not get up. Don't make the day longer! You need more than 4-6 hours... go for ten or twelve ...or more. 

Fucking hell.... I'm even boring myself now..... 

I still smile and say Hello; Thank you and How are You? Please, Thank You, Excuse Me... etc... 

Meh....